Some People Cant Be Saved
by Spiritem
Summary: Mabel Roy wanted to die, and no words can convince her otherwise. - The Doctor is barely in this story, it s basically an angsty vent post. Read at your own risk.


It`s an odd thing, having a collection of pills. If others knew about it, they would call her popper, or be horrified.

3 pills from a crippling stomach ache that she had long forgotten the name of, a whole bottle of Xanax for her anxiety, Advil, Desyrel, Zoloft, Paxil and so on and so on.

Some hers. Some her roommates. A cocktail of pills to hopefully let her see Him again, and to help her never see her mother again. Of course, those weren't the only reasons, usually, it isn't that simple but still. Top 2, she supposed. So here she was. So young, she was sure they`d say. Too young to understand, looking for attention, any and all things they could think of they would say.

Mabel Roy, the girl who swallowed pills and fell out of a tree as she suffocated on her own vomit.

It didn't matter. It's not like she had anyone to impress. 26, wanting to die and wishing someone would stop her, not because she didn't want to die but because she wanted to know at least one person cared. But there was no one person was there? Just strangers because she was too scared to talk to anyone and even more afraid of letting them in.

So here she was. It was an oak tree, and god was it tall. Climbing had always been a passion of hers, usually at night because it helped her get closer to the stars. Closer to her escape. Closer to the sky and its multitude of beauties. Not much beauty anymore, she supposed. She got as far to the top as she could until the branches were too thin to hold her and she had to stop.

This was not impulse.

This was thought out, this was debated, this was the last resort. Mabel didn't want to give up, because it wasn't in her nature to, and that nature was the only reason she had survived these past 9 years.

But it had been the hardest years she would ever face, and as soon as they were over things would be better. Because not existing was the only solution. Joining groups didn't solve it. Therapy and psychiatrists didn't help. Travel, learning, hobbies, pills. Nothing helped, and nothing ever would.

Mabel took her pill mix and began to lift it to her mouth when a voice spoke from beneath her.

"You really, really don't want to do this."

Looking down, there sat a man with floppy dark hair and green eyes a couple branches down. A peculiar outfit, a sad smile, and old eyes gave one tiny flicker of hope turn on inside her. And while Mabel was sure whatever he said wouldn't help she was willing to listen. Just because she wanted to die didn't mean she wasn't willing to try and fix herself. 9 years of fighting proved that.

"Why not? It isn't like I haven't thought this through."

He stared at her, looking disappointed. "Because things could get better, because you have years ahead of you, because you are important and someone would miss you, because suicide is never the answer, because the world is waiting for you. Do you want me to go on? Because I can. I can list so many reasons why you shouldn't do this, and why it would be a horrible waste if you disappeared."

Oh, how wonderful. Another general song to those in pain, to try and fix things in one day. She could have believed that in the beginning, not now though. Not now. Mabel looked at the man intently and spoke without a hint of breaking and with a certainty that is fatal. As hard as it was, she would force herself to talk to him, to tell this perfect stranger everything and face her two biggest fears. He was the last person she would ever talk to, after all.

"Thank you, but that's not enough. Words I suppose, aren't enough. I`m here for far better reasons then sadness, and I am going to tell you everything. You're wondering why, and I'll tell you at the end. When I was 3, my father left. Not impacting, to be honest, but something kids really liked to fixate on. Mom started beating me and my twin around that time. I guess she blamed us for his leaving, and she probably was right considering their wedding was shotgun due to us. Me and him, together forever, fighting the world day after day. Until we were 17, and he tied a noose in the closet and killed himself. I took it all after that. When I got out and went to university, I thought I could get better. I joined clubs, I made friends, went to therapy, exercised and ate healthy. I tried to make my life perfect to make up for the one He didn't get to have. But I got worse instead of better. I got pills. I travelled the world, I confronted my other, I found my father, and much much more. But every year, I felt less and less. And slowly, things mattered less. Friends left, groups became less interesting. Places seemed boring compared to staring at the ceiling from my bed at 4 am. And now we're here. I know, my reasons are pretty short. But whatever, its been years. I tried fighting it. I tried fixing myself and finding beauty in life. But I`m still here. So why did I tell you this? Well, because when I was younger, I and Him had a shared worst fear. Being forgotten. So, I've written this "story" in books and posted it online, and now I'm telling you. The world can't forget us if our life is everywhere right?"

With that, she quickly gulped down the pills and let herself fall. As Mabel Roy left this world she heard the word "no" being screamed into the air, feeling branches slap her on the way down and seeing the night sky one last time.

She hit the ground with the most sickening thud, as it seems she was high enough to finish the job, even without the pills as insurance.

The Doctor had scrambled to get down safely and try to help her, despite knowing it was too late. He could get into the Tardis and save her, but couldn't knowing that even if he did, he`d have to leave and whenever he came back he would find her dead. There was no happy ending, and there was no saving the girl called Mabel, as there was too much damage. More damage then he had realized. Not everyone can be saved, despite the Doctor`s wishes.

No one would ever know that he was there. He would never explain to any companion, any lover, anyone. He would move on, pick Amy and Rory up and hope to push this failure from his mind.

The police got an anonymous tip that someone had jumped from a tree, and when they got there they found her covered with a blanket looking peaceful, alone. The note was found on her computer, and people remembered. Until they didn't.

And then her story rested only with the last of the Time Lords, and until his dying day he swore to never forget. And for once, he never did.


End file.
